Helter Skelter
Frog told me that he would call. I am waiting for that god damned call. The spot light's on me, I know. I am on stage- the chairs in front of me bereft of an audience. Wood paneled rough huge stage, with me- alone -facing a red phone that's off the hook because that's how twisted our love story is. We have bizarre conversations in our heads- this phone and I, playing out tapes of our life's little pasts and futures and we look at each other with such remorse and sadness and rabid happiness on how it's all over now. And we want some more. Most times we don't make sense. So screw you Frog. I am waiting for your call which will never come, like it never does because the phone's off the hook. And you make me believe that our love's so cool and special that we can will miracles to happen. You conned me there. So I am reading out this letter of love and hate for you because we are done. Done with each other. Never more.
Dear Frog
My heart explodes with such love for you that the four letter word is lava not love. You however do not deserve it. I wish I could drain you off my memories and shed away the blue ink into a bottle and throw the bottle into the sea and lose the bottle. Good bye.
Love
Kay
That's beautiful isn't it? It's succinct and tells you how I feel about Frog and why this is over. I have this vague feeling growing stronger as I read it loud once more, that he is too dumb to get it. At the expense of artistic brevity and poetic justice I insert more lines. I thought of some great lines yesterday for this but they seem to evade me. I shall make another attempt at it now.
Frog
I believe love operates on five principles and I think you work outside all of the below and above. I will make you understand this by stating these rules and using ample examples from our life so far to illustrate how you are such a dead end.
Rule 1
The loved is not greater
The lover not smaller
For sooner or later
You are one or the other
I think the word I am looking for in the second line is lesser, but you get the point.
Rule 2
A man speaks to woman
He asks of her
Is love a shadow
or Strange light.
In the morning she leaves
Now this will need explanation, although I hate having to explain myself to you all the time. And I think that's the message, so there.
I am interrupted here by the cleaning lady walking into the hall. I am mistaken. She walks in from the exit door at the back of the empty hall, a hundred rows of empty chairs away. Some one has bought a ticket for the show. Poor Soul. Maybe I should tell her that there's nothing on right now. I can see her. She is all legs and blue short skirt and can't be true. My mind's playing tricks with me because Love is such a wretched thing. She is here for real. She sits in the front row, cross legged, blank and inviting. Will she take me home if I put on this show for her? Frog? What Frog? Time to churn on the charm.
Did I see that phone shiver a bit like there was someone on the other end? I pick up the red smelly receiver and I hear the dead buzz.
Rule 3, Frog, is that you do not let love lose its way like a complete unknown, you know, with no direction home...you feed it, nourish it, you nurture it and water it every day. The neglected heart wanders. And you turned me, the super girl of your life into wander woman. I hate you for that.
Look! If you think that it's turning insipid you are right. What do you expect? Here I am torn between eternal love breaking to pieces and tall slim infinity blue skirt there of the long face red pout slender curve and warm warm body. It's not easy. But life's not easy is it? Speaking of which,
Rule 4, Frog
If x is > y and y is < z are prevaricates and by axiomatic assumption we know that x^2+y^2 is < z^2 then how does one prove in five easy steps that x+y may or may not equal z+x given x,y,z is >0 for all x,y,z ?, Try solving that you self important practical headed son of a bitch.
A man has moved in while I was busy challenging Frog on an intellectual level. He is sitting next to that impossible girl and he is tall and well built with a head full of long hair to tell me she is out of my league. Of course she had a date and she chose to date here.
I can hear Frog. Sweet sweet little loser actually decides to call me. I prance wildly on stage, possessed by his voice croaked by the ten thousand hundred and five cigarettes, the dull beautiful smoked and aged and matured to woody perfection sound to which my heart beats. The date couple blink at my performance and exit stage left.
You called, I say, joyful. I can hardly hear him speak. He makes no sense. He warbles and mutters and yodels and croaks and chokes and recites two lines. He cuts the line and I am back to staring at that red phone below a spotlight in an empty stage in a silent hall.
Dear Frog
I can't think of another rule because it is you who rules my heart.
I miss you so much
Love
Kay
Frog told me that he would call. I am waiting for that god damned call. The spot light's on me, I know. I am on stage- the chairs in front of me bereft of an audience. Wood paneled rough huge stage, with me- alone -facing a red phone that's off the hook because that's how twisted our love story is. We have bizarre conversations in our heads- this phone and I, playing out tapes of our life's little pasts and futures and we look at each other with such remorse and sadness and rabid happiness on how it's all over now. And we want some more. Most times we don't make sense. So screw you Frog. I am waiting for your call which will never come, like it never does because the phone's off the hook. And you make me believe that our love's so cool and special that we can will miracles to happen. You conned me there. So I am reading out this letter of love and hate for you because we are done. Done with each other. Never more.
Dear Frog
My heart explodes with such love for you that the four letter word is lava not love. You however do not deserve it. I wish I could drain you off my memories and shed away the blue ink into a bottle and throw the bottle into the sea and lose the bottle. Good bye.
Love
Kay
That's beautiful isn't it? It's succinct and tells you how I feel about Frog and why this is over. I have this vague feeling growing stronger as I read it loud once more, that he is too dumb to get it. At the expense of artistic brevity and poetic justice I insert more lines. I thought of some great lines yesterday for this but they seem to evade me. I shall make another attempt at it now.
Frog
I believe love operates on five principles and I think you work outside all of the below and above. I will make you understand this by stating these rules and using ample examples from our life so far to illustrate how you are such a dead end.
Rule 1
The loved is not greater
The lover not smaller
For sooner or later
You are one or the other
I think the word I am looking for in the second line is lesser, but you get the point.
Rule 2
A man speaks to woman
He asks of her
Is love a shadow
or Strange light.
In the morning she leaves
Now this will need explanation, although I hate having to explain myself to you all the time. And I think that's the message, so there.
I am interrupted here by the cleaning lady walking into the hall. I am mistaken. She walks in from the exit door at the back of the empty hall, a hundred rows of empty chairs away. Some one has bought a ticket for the show. Poor Soul. Maybe I should tell her that there's nothing on right now. I can see her. She is all legs and blue short skirt and can't be true. My mind's playing tricks with me because Love is such a wretched thing. She is here for real. She sits in the front row, cross legged, blank and inviting. Will she take me home if I put on this show for her? Frog? What Frog? Time to churn on the charm.
Did I see that phone shiver a bit like there was someone on the other end? I pick up the red smelly receiver and I hear the dead buzz.
Rule 3, Frog, is that you do not let love lose its way like a complete unknown, you know, with no direction home...you feed it, nourish it, you nurture it and water it every day. The neglected heart wanders. And you turned me, the super girl of your life into wander woman. I hate you for that.
Look! If you think that it's turning insipid you are right. What do you expect? Here I am torn between eternal love breaking to pieces and tall slim infinity blue skirt there of the long face red pout slender curve and warm warm body. It's not easy. But life's not easy is it? Speaking of which,
Rule 4, Frog
If x is > y and y is < z are prevaricates and by axiomatic assumption we know that x^2+y^2 is < z^2 then how does one prove in five easy steps that x+y may or may not equal z+x given x,y,z is >0 for all x,y,z ?, Try solving that you self important practical headed son of a bitch.
A man has moved in while I was busy challenging Frog on an intellectual level. He is sitting next to that impossible girl and he is tall and well built with a head full of long hair to tell me she is out of my league. Of course she had a date and she chose to date here.
I can hear Frog. Sweet sweet little loser actually decides to call me. I prance wildly on stage, possessed by his voice croaked by the ten thousand hundred and five cigarettes, the dull beautiful smoked and aged and matured to woody perfection sound to which my heart beats. The date couple blink at my performance and exit stage left.
You called, I say, joyful. I can hardly hear him speak. He makes no sense. He warbles and mutters and yodels and croaks and chokes and recites two lines. He cuts the line and I am back to staring at that red phone below a spotlight in an empty stage in a silent hall.
Dear Frog
I can't think of another rule because it is you who rules my heart.
I miss you so much
Love
Kay
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